state of the union

Lately it’s felt like the whole world is on the verge of a breakdown. I always joke that I’m missing the chip in my brain that’s supposed to warn me when there’s danger, so it was unusual last week when I woke up in the middle of the night in a complete panic and unable to fall back asleep. It was the day that Trump had tweeted about his "much bigger & more powerful button" in response to Kim Jong Un's claim that he always has a nuclear button on his desk, something that was laughable in the daylight and terrifying once my subconscious had time to let that sink in. Suddenly my mind was racing around the thought that if North Korea does bomb the US, they’ll likely start with LA because it’s the closest big city. Then my thoughts wandered to the fires that have affected so many people not far from me, including my college swim coach and former teammate who both lost their homes.

Then I started thinking about the earthquake that Southern California is long overdue for and how I don’t have a plan for when it strikes, which led me to think about the how the Pacific Northwest is also overdue for an earthquake and how the entire coastline is basically doomed because the earthquake would be followed by a tsunami and there’s only one highway that connects the coast to Portland. I worried about my family and friends who live up there and how helpless I’d be a state away.

This week, we had record breaking rain in Southern California that caused a landslide that killed 20 people. The most concerning part is how disconnected everyone was in response to it. It was casually mentioned over coffee in the office in the morning before people continued with our days, because we’ve gotten so used to mass shootings and natural disasters happening on a nearly weekly basis that no one feels totally surprised anymore.

The reason I’m sharing all of this is because I find that sometimes it helps to realize that you’re not the only one who feels like something is off. It seems like everyone is more anxious than ever without even realizing why. We think there's just something wrong with us, when really we're normal, feeling human beings living in a really chaotic world and what would be stranger would be if you weren't feeling it. Here's to hoping things turn around soon. 🤞🏼